A Lost Phone Chase

Another Short Story of Life

Last night my husband and I went downtown to join some friends and see Carly Jo Jackson, a local singer, perform on an outdoor stage. The night fell into one of those categories that can only be described as perfect. The air was cool, the laughter infectious, and the drinks strong. We took pictures with our cell phones as we sang along, and applauded our girl’s performance.

After a while, I excused myself and headed to the ladies room. On my way back, I stopped at the bar and got another round. When I returned to my husband, he pointed out something picture-worthy, and I reached into my pocket to pull out my phone, and it wasn’t there.

My Phone Was Gone. Time froze. My eyes wide, my breath held, I frantically searched my other pockets.

Of course not.

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Corporate Manipulation

One Wednesday night, my family and I decided to go to Miller's Ale House for dinner. At the front door of the restaurant stood a chalkboard with an advertisement for a $14.95 whole steamed lobster. After being seated, we placed our drink order with the waitress for three waters and one beer. When she brought our drinks, we each ordered the steamed lobster special.

The food was delicious, but the service was mediocre to poor. After waiting an extended period of time for the check, the waitress became over friendly. As she chatted my husband up about where he was from, telling our daughter in law how cute our grandchild was, and how she hoped to see us again soon, I signed the tab without audit. We hadn’t seen this server more than twice throughout the meal (we placed an order for dessert with another server) and I felt certain her overture (and purple lines and hearts drawn on the bill) were to gain a greater tip.

The next day, I audited the receipt. 

 

We had been charged two dollars each for not ordering a beverage. I went back to the restaurant and spoke to the manager. He said the charge was corporate policy. Later, when I spoke to the corporate rep on the phone, he confirmed, it was corporate policy. He did apologize for the server not explaining the charge at the time of ordering. The lobster dinner is $16.95, you see, if you don’t order a drink. By the way, a soda is $2.69. I was told the firm had to "defray the cost of not ordering a drink." He also apologized for the information not being on any of the advertisements. 

It's not the four dollars. If I had been told there was a two dollar charge for water, I would have bitched, but I would have paid it. I prefer to drink water with my meal.

But this is corporate greed at its finest.

Moral of the story: audit your receipt.


UPDATE:

I've been informed by Miller's corporate office that this is no longer the policy. So, there's that.

I'd still audit the receipt. I mean, what's next? Bathroom surcharge?

Once Upon A Time in Orlando

Once Upon A Time in Orlando

Back in the 90's, a columnist wrote for the Orlando Sentinel by the name of Bob Morris. This man moved on to bigger and better things but while here organized an annual parade, which he dubbed the Queen Kumquat Sashay. He made this a parade for folks who couldn't get into any other parade.

I'll wait while you process the picture in your imaginations.

The Queen Kumquat Sashay went on to become an annual event. The parade started at 4:41pm on any given Saturday that Mr. Morris might pick through the year. Some of the “floats” were hilarious. For instance, a group of women braided their hair together to support a Styrofoam rendition of an actual ice cream float. You had to see the thing to believe the size.

An assembly of men ran the parade route wearing business suits and carrying brief cases. They chased another man wearing a cardboard rendition of an ambulance.

Another group walked the route with nonchalance in their step, wearing everyday street clothes. You had to be directly in front to read the chosen name of their group. (Are you ready?) In black magic marker was written, "Just Some Guys" (snicker).

The parade became so popular the powers that be wanted to offer a follow up to keep everyone downtown and spending. So one year, “Light Up Orlando” began after the end of the parade. A large swath of downtown streets closed to all but foot traffic, and the evening became a family night out to see the lights while various bands set up and entertained on the avenues. What a great time.

But, all good things must come to come to an end. One of the City Councilmen (who shall remain nameless) managed to get the rest of the board to vote in favor of alcohol sales at kiosks during the festivities.

The following year, being pushed and shoved by the crowd, I stepped off the walkway and observed an inebriated young man stumble toward me. He hit his knees, and emptied the contents of his stomach at my feet. Suffice it to say, I did not return.

Within five years Light Up Orlando shut down, along with the Queen Kumquat Sashay, due to the public intoxication of the participants and the subsequent crime spree. The disappointment reigned in most of the citizenry of O-town. And whom could we blame? Bob Morris? The Sashay? The powers that be? The alcohol vendors? All of the above? None of the above? We were all having a great time at the parade. Afterward, adults and children alike enjoyed a night of food, fun, and music. Then, all of it was taken away by jerks who wanted more.

Here’s the way I see the moral of the story…

Learn to recognize the fine line between bounty and excess.

You may lose the one for employing the other.