True Story...
I just saw a guy standing on a corner of a major highway intersection. Smoking a cigarette. Carrying a gas can.
I literally laughed out loud. That is, once I got out of the potential blast radius.
"Ya can't fix stupid."
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Snow
Yeah, I'm a Floridian. I just went to the beach yesterday.
You can throw this back in my face when the hurricanes come through, bust out our power, tosses some cars and trees around, and flood us out.
I know. Karma's a bitch...still, this was funny.
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Hate spreads
Every cause has its lunacy. Abortion, Religion, Politics, Immigration,
Same-Sex Marriage; the list could go on and on. In every impassioned debate,
you'll find someone willing to “line them all up and shoot them”. That
haters hide themselves behind the bible, their guns, the flag, or whatever icon
they feel represents their cause, doesn't change the fact they hate, and are
looking for a target.
The only thing these haters want is someone to argue with,
an opportunity to spew their anti-(fill-in-the-blank) rhetoric. Don’t
engage these people. Don’t debate these people. Your measured words and
intelligent, reasoned argument would change nothing. If anything, you’ll find
yourself being drawn too near their hatred, and finding hatred within yourself.
And they will have found the target they were looking for.
What can you do? Disarm them. When their rant begins, grow
silent. School your face to reveal nothing but compassion. Then change the
subject.
If you’re still not able to get away from their hatred,
gather yourself to walk away, look them in the eye, and say, “I’ll pray for
you.” Then remove that hatred from your life. The absence will be a blessing
beyond compare.
Saturday, February 8, 2014
To be a Gentleman
A conversation with a friend prompted me to consider the
definition of “Gentleman” in today’s society.
The original topic centered on the “Southern Gentleman”. The
subject had been lambasted, as all things Southern are these days. I should
mention my friend was a gentleman from the breadbasket section of the country,
whereas I represent the female gender from the south.
The first point made by my friend is that the southern man
is perceived as ill-mannered and uncouth, holding little to no respect for the
fairer sex. He offered his personal experience with a few southern men as
examples. I countered the type of behavior he described could be found in the
north, south, east, and west. Those were not gentlemen.
I would like to offer my definition of a true gentleman in
modern times.
Gentlemen, no matter their locale, are well mannered, up to
and including holding the door open for a person (male or female) behind them.
He measures his words for the impact they might have. Considerate of those
around him, he will hold his tongue rather than offer direct insult. There are
occasions when an irrational person might goad a biting response from a
gentleman, but at that point, the offending party deserves what comes next.
A lady, by this definition’s extent, is a complementary
counterpart to the gentleman. Socially pleasant and charming to the friends and
associates of her gentleman, she would be mortified to cause a scene in a
public place. Any and all unpleasantness would be held for the private moment.
A gentleman would never raise his voice to a lady, most
especially in a public place. What he says behind closed doors, among
compatriots in private, is his business, and another gentleperson would never
repeat what might or might not have been said.
On a final point, a gentleman would never refer to himself
as such. It would be pretentious and shallow.
How do I know of what I speak? Because I have the honor and
privilege of being married to a true gentleman. His parents’ fortunes were less
than stellar, but they taught him how to behave and how to treat one's fellow
man. He was born in Miami, Florida, marking him Southern Gentleman. His parents
were Cuban. Even with the stereotypical Latin Blood, he is the epitome of a
Gentleman, by every word of the above description.
He saves his passionate heritage for me, in private. I am
one blessed, lucky, ecstatic, satisfied woman. Can your partners say the same?
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Once Upon A Time in Orlando
Once Upon A Time in Orlando
Back in the 90's, a columnist wrote for the Orlando
Sentinel by the name of Bob Morris. This man moved on to bigger and better
things but while here organized an annual parade, which he dubbed the Queen
Kumquat Sashay. He made this a parade for folks who couldn't get into any other
parade.
I'll wait while you process the picture in your imaginations.
The Queen Kumquat Sashay went on to become an annual event.
The parade started at 4:41pm on any given Saturday that Mr. Morris might pick
through the year. Some of the “floats” were hilarious. For instance,
a group of women braided their hair together to support a Styrofoam rendition
of an actual ice cream float. You had to see the thing to believe the size.
An assembly of men ran the parade route wearing business
suits and carrying brief cases. They chased another man wearing a cardboard
rendition of an ambulance.
Another group walked the route with nonchalance in their
step, wearing everyday street clothes. You had to be directly in front to read
the chosen name of their group. (Are you ready?) In black magic marker was
written, "Just Some Guys" (snicker).
The parade became so popular the powers that be wanted to
offer a follow up to keep everyone downtown and spending. So one year, “Light
Up Orlando” began after the end of the parade. A large swath of downtown
streets closed to all but foot traffic, and the evening became a family night
out to see the lights while various bands set up and entertained on the
avenues. What a great time.
But, all good things must come to come to an end. One of the
City Councilmen (who shall remain nameless) managed to get the rest of the
board to vote in favor of alcohol sales at kiosks during the festivities.
The following year, being pushed and shoved by the crowd, I
stepped off the walkway and observed an inebriated young man stumble toward me.
He hit his knees, and emptied the contents of his stomach at my feet. Suffice
it to say, I did not return.
Within five years Light Up Orlando shut down, along with the Queen Kumquat
Sashay, due to the public intoxication of the participants
and the subsequent crime spree. The disappointment reigned in most of the
citizenry of O-town. And whom could we blame? Bob Morris? The Sashay? The
powers that be? The alcohol vendors? All of the above? None of the above? We
were all having a great time at the parade. Afterward, adults and children
alike enjoyed a night of food, fun, and music. Then, all of it was taken away
by jerks who wanted more.
Here’s the way I see the moral of the story…
Learn to recognize
the fine line between bounty and excess.
You may lose the one
for employing the other.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Martin Luther King's 85th Birthday
Today would have marked Martin Luther King's 85th Birthday.
Allow me to share one of my favorite quotes from the good
doctor - - -
"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere
ignorance and conscientious stupidity."
Monday, January 13, 2014
Saving Mr. Banks (A Disney Movie)
I saw the movie Saving Mr. Banks today. There was a
point I sat upright and laughed. No one else did. That was a little
disappointing, seeing that I was in a Central Florida theater.
Here’s the thing; in one scene of the movie, there was a map
of the state of Florida placed prominently on the wall of his California
offices. That made me laugh. I understand and appreciate the nod to my
native state; however, Mr. Disney did not choose Florida for the supplement to
Disney Land until 1964. Since that was the year of the original movie's
release, the scenes in Saving Mr. Banks would have taken place in '62 or
'63. At that time, Disney Land California cared little for the backwater
swampland that was Florida.
My mother (a third generation Floridian) told me a great
story about Disney, which I could neither verify nor deny. But share it I
will...
Mr. Walt Disney and his entourage were scouting locales for
the second Disney Park in the mid 1960's. The story goes that Louisiana had won
the distinction in every way but paper. The local hob-nob dignitaries in that
state were hosting Walt and company, when it was learned that no alcohol would
be served in his park. They were flabbergasted. Once the initial shock wore
off, they began teasing the California millionaire incessantly. Walt changed
his mind. Not about the alcohol, about the locale. It’s told he left in the
middle of the night. He came to Florida, and deciding to play his cards closer
to the vest, secretly started buying up swampland and mineral rights in the
central region of the state.
Thank you, Louisiana.
As for Saving Mr. Banks, Tom Hanks was superb. The
ending was (How shall I put this?), a bit unbelievable. It is a Disney movie,
to be sure. I will confess to having never read the actual books that featured
the title character, Mary Poppins, by PL Travers. The original children's book
was published in 1934, and by the time I was more than a twinkle in my daddy’s
eye, the movie had been made by the Disney studios and was a smashing success.
I found most of the questions this movie left me with addressed in this
single blog, Nine‘Mary Poppins’ facts ‘Saving Mr. Banks’ did not get right.
Floridians do have a love/hate relationship with Disney
World. But, no one denies the genius that was Walt Disney. This movie sold him
short, but at least they didn't vilify him (it is a Disney movie, in case you
missed that part). After a little more research, I found the story of PL
Travers' was oh-so-much more fascinating than presented. Do yourself a favor
and check out the biographies of these two headstrong, incredibly driven
people.
Saving Mr. Banks is a melancholy movie to be sure.
Referring to it as “Based On A True Story” makes it all the more so.
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