Thursday, February 2, 2012

Funny Family Politics

Not everyone will appreciate the humor. Honestly, I don't think everyone will understand the humor. But this is for those that do. Hope it brings a smile. 

Funny Family Politics

My husband, Dart, is a Republican.

My son, Dan, is a Democrat.

I am an Independent.

The one thing we have in common, the one thing truly uniting us, is our sense of humor.

I was involved in an amusing conversation with the two of them, which started out having nothing at all to do with politics, but revealed the silliness of each of the participant’s parties.

This episode started by my telling about the results of the local newspapers contest called the ‘Foodie Awards’. Each year the Orlando Sentinel holds this contest in which restaurants are chosen, by the peoples vote, the best in various categories. The contest is very popular here in Orlando.

The top Foodie BBQ award this year went to a ‘Texas style’ newcomer called 4 Rivers. I had been to the restaurant a few times and was impressed with each item I had sampled on their menu, but the brisket is to die for!

I told my son about the results and he responded by sticking out his tongue and saying “Blah”, much to my amazement.

“You don’t like 4R?”

“Well. They’re OK I mean, the brisket doesn’t suck.”

“Do you know their story?”

“Um. No?”

“The founder is from Florida, and became a big-time CEO. Then he went to Texas.”

“So, he’s a 1-percenter?”

“Well, I guess. Anyway, when he came back to Florida, through a series of events, he retired from his post and began making his special Texas BBQ recipe out of his garage for local charities fund-raises.”

To which my husband commented, “Bay Hill Golf Community garages aren’t like a ‘normal’ garage. It was probably a five-car storage facility and he used the last bay as a kitchen.”

“I didn’t say he lived in Bay Hill. Besides, that doesn’t matter...”

“Sure it does,” quips my son, “he had the money to start with, and now he’s making even more with this overrated bar-b-que.”

“So, what are you saying?” asked my husband with a grin, “he should give away all of his product?”

Picking up on the sarcasm, Dan answered with a smirk, “I’m saying his BBQ should be regulated!”

This is when the laughter started. The three of us took off on the most ridiculous representation of our political affiliations with the poor 4R restaurant as an example.

“What about all the fund-raisers?” I asked as an innocent Independent. “Does that qualify him for an exemption?”

“Perhaps.” sneered my son in the most demeaning of ways. “Only if he matches the exact amount next year he donated this year.”

“Ridiculous,” replied the Republican. “The tax code should be re-written for just such contingencies. If he falls short on next year’s profits, we will refund him all expenses until it’s matched.”

“No way!” exclaimed the Democrat. “We will regulate his specific style of BBQ to pay for all of the obese people’s medical needs who solicit his dining establishment.”

“Wait!” shouted the Independent. “What about all the charities he already helps? What about all the people who genuinely enjoy his food? What about his brisket!?”

“OK,” said the two opposing parties in unison, surprising all.

The Democrat spoke first. “We’ll grant an exemption for the brisket. Only if there is no sauce applied. After all, it’s lean.”

“Agreed,” answered the Republican. “Except for the sauce part.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“The sauce stays, sir!”

“The sauce shall be removed!”

“I’m not getting involved,” sighed the Independent.