Once Upon A Time in Orlando
Back in the 90's, a columnist wrote for the Orlando
Sentinel by the name of Bob Morris. This man moved on to bigger and better
things but while here organized an annual parade, which he dubbed the Queen
Kumquat Sashay. He made this a parade for folks who couldn't get into any other
parade.
I'll wait while you process the picture in your imaginations.
The Queen Kumquat Sashay went on to become an annual event.
The parade started at 4:41pm on any given Saturday that Mr. Morris might pick
through the year. Some of the “floats” were hilarious. For instance,
a group of women braided their hair together to support a Styrofoam rendition
of an actual ice cream float. You had to see the thing to believe the size.
An assembly of men ran the parade route wearing business
suits and carrying brief cases. They chased another man wearing a cardboard
rendition of an ambulance.
Another group walked the route with nonchalance in their
step, wearing everyday street clothes. You had to be directly in front to read
the chosen name of their group. (Are you ready?) In black magic marker was
written, "Just Some Guys" (snicker).
The parade became so popular the powers that be wanted to
offer a follow up to keep everyone downtown and spending. So one year, “Light
Up Orlando” began after the end of the parade. A large swath of downtown
streets closed to all but foot traffic, and the evening became a family night
out to see the lights while various bands set up and entertained on the
avenues. What a great time.
But, all good things must come to come to an end. One of the
City Councilmen (who shall remain nameless) managed to get the rest of the
board to vote in favor of alcohol sales at kiosks during the festivities.
The following year, being pushed and shoved by the crowd, I
stepped off the walkway and observed an inebriated young man stumble toward me.
He hit his knees, and emptied the contents of his stomach at my feet. Suffice
it to say, I did not return.
Within five years Light Up Orlando shut down, along with the Queen Kumquat
Sashay, due to the public intoxication of the participants
and the subsequent crime spree. The disappointment reigned in most of the
citizenry of O-town. And whom could we blame? Bob Morris? The Sashay? The
powers that be? The alcohol vendors? All of the above? None of the above? We
were all having a great time at the parade. Afterward, adults and children
alike enjoyed a night of food, fun, and music. Then, all of it was taken away
by jerks who wanted more.
Here’s the way I see the moral of the story…
Learn to recognize
the fine line between bounty and excess.
You may lose the one
for employing the other.
