The Lie of Cats in the Cradle

"Cat's in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin from the album Verities & Balderdash

“My child arrived just the other day

He came to the world in the usual way

But there were planes to catch and bills to pay

He learned to walk while I was away

And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew

He'd say "I'm gonna be like you, Dad

You know I'm gonna be like you…”

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This song, released at the end of 1974, has touched the hearts of millions. I first heard Cats in the Cradle at the tender age of fourteen. Being a young girl, I wondered about the Mom. She would be the ‘usual way’ referenced so dismissively in the second line. That the mother is there during the father’s disconnection is implied, right? I mean, the boy didn’t learn to walk and talk from apes.

Later in life I married, had two sons, divorced, and then married again. You know, “the usual way” in today’s terms. Rather than whine about the now-divorced relationship, I’ll sum it up with a quick (quasi-funny) story from before the divorce.

To continue reading, please go to the WordPress site, JL Mo

Relationships

This post is inspired by the "16 Ways I Blew My Marriage" blogpost by Dan Pearce, of Single Dad Laughing  (see his blog post here). He offers some fantastic advice on how to end up divorced. At the end of his posts (it's in two parts), he asked if the reader had any advice they'd like to share as to how to keep a marriage together. Here's my two cents worth.

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Don’t go hide when she cries.

It’s tough to see a strong woman cry. It distorts the opinion that she is just as tough as you (have made her). Men cannot relate to many of the reasons that would make a woman cry. So, when the tears start, a man fumbles, stumbles, mumbles and leaves.

Do Over –

Don’t leave. Take it like a man. If you made her cry, suffer the tears in silence for a moment. Whether you did or not, reach out, gently touching her, letting her know you’re not running away. If she doesn’t slap your hand, work your way into an embrace. Let her cry on your shoulder. If she does slap your hand, go get a cool washcloth and a box of tissue. Wait a moment. When she’s ready, offer them to her.

Bonus –

Your courage to withstand the storm of tears will be remembered. You will have made the foundation of your relationship stronger.

Extra Bonus –

Your compassion may lead to make up sex.

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Now, go check out Single Dad Laughing. It's worth the read.