A conversation with a friend prompted me to consider the
definition of “Gentleman” in today’s society.
The original topic centered on the “Southern Gentleman”. The
subject had been lambasted, as all things Southern are these days. I should
mention my friend was a gentleman from the breadbasket section of the country,
whereas I represent the female gender from the south.
The first point made by my friend is that the southern man
is perceived as ill-mannered and uncouth, holding little to no respect for the
fairer sex. He offered his personal experience with a few southern men as
examples. I countered the type of behavior he described could be found in the
north, south, east, and west. Those were not gentlemen.
I would like to offer my definition of a true gentleman in
modern times.
Gentlemen, no matter their locale, are well mannered, up to
and including holding the door open for a person (male or female) behind them.
He measures his words for the impact they might have. Considerate of those
around him, he will hold his tongue rather than offer direct insult. There are
occasions when an irrational person might goad a biting response from a
gentleman, but at that point, the offending party deserves what comes next.
A lady, by this definition’s extent, is a complementary
counterpart to the gentleman. Socially pleasant and charming to the friends and
associates of her gentleman, she would be mortified to cause a scene in a
public place. Any and all unpleasantness would be held for the private moment.
A gentleman would never raise his voice to a lady, most
especially in a public place. What he says behind closed doors, among
compatriots in private, is his business, and another gentleperson would never
repeat what might or might not have been said.
On a final point, a gentleman would never refer to himself
as such. It would be pretentious and shallow.
How do I know of what I speak? Because I have the honor and
privilege of being married to a true gentleman. His parents’ fortunes were less
than stellar, but they taught him how to behave and how to treat one's fellow
man. He was born in Miami, Florida, marking him Southern Gentleman. His parents
were Cuban. Even with the stereotypical Latin Blood, he is the epitome of a
Gentleman, by every word of the above description.
He saves his passionate heritage for me, in private. I am
one blessed, lucky, ecstatic, satisfied woman. Can your partners say the same?
