Groupon Ads

I received an email ad in my inbox today with a banner reading, “Get out and have fun.”

The ad offered six online classes, two television related offers, two board games, one software package, an iPod docking station, one magazine subscription, one projector (yes, projector) and a savings on $40 t-shirts.

So, I’ll wear my $40 t-shirt and take six computer classes while downloading software and watching television. I’ll listen to my iPod while reading my magazines and flipping through my favorite slides. Then I’ll play a board game with, um, well; maybe my online classmates would like to Skype a game!

If there were such a thing as truth in advertising, the banner would have read,  "Stay in and let us sell you more stuff."

Thank you, Madam President

January 16, 2006 - "If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough." Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, President of Liberia, the first elected female head of state in Africa.

This was from her speech on her first election. She was re-elected in 2011.

How big are your dreams?  Are you frightened by the prospect of reaching them? I'll admit, I'm a little frightened of mine. Although, I hold no such dream as President Sirleaf's.

My dream is to be a successful author. Success is measured differently by different people, granted. My measurement is simply to be able to make my own living with my writing. Why does that scare me? Because of the fear I may reach a point where I have nothing left to write about. Nothing left to say.

Oh, and then there's the lack of a retirement plan. Meh.

But, with political leaders (and citizens) like this in the world, who champion the rights of others to their own peril, I imagine I'll at least stand up and cheer, even if I nothing to say that would add to their elegance.

Who's scared?

The End of a Conversation

            Yesterday, I enjoyed having lunch with a group of friends. We sat at an outside table at a restaurant on the St. John’s River. The place was packed, and why not? It was a glorious day. The sun shone in a magnificent blue sky on an unusually warm afternoon in January. The day would be called perfect, even by Florida standards.

            The friends, the sights, the sounds, all combined to make the day incredible. Boats on the water, birds singing, glasses clinking, and happy conversation with friends I love. For icing on the cake, an acoustic duo played the music of Jimmy Buffet.

            I will admit I could barely hear the person speaking next to me. He had reached the end of his story as the music got louder. So I leaned in closer with a few others listening, and when he finished we all leaned back, laughing at the punch line of his tale.

            A lull in the conversation took place at that moment, as the music decreased in volume. Not realizing the relative quiet soon enough, two friends at the other end of the table were laughing hard as one offered the punch line of his own tale. “The whips and chains were really unnecessary.”

            I would love to have been listening to that conversation!

Happy 2013 everyone

When I got up around 8 this morning, New Years Day, I read postings on my facebook page for wishes for a Happy New Year from people all around the world. Some had only gone to bed 30 minutes before I got up, and others had risen early enough to post the first sunrise of the year. It truly brought a smile to my face.

2013 feels great so far.

But...it’s still early.

Fiscal Cliff Explained so Everyone can understand

Someone posted this on my fb page crediting “The Angel Clark Show”. I am a centrist, so I did not agree with everything on that page, but the message here is still thought provoking.

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“Fiscal Cliff” put in a much better perspective.

Lesson #1

US Tax revenue $2,170,000,000,000

Fed Budget $3,820,000,000,000

New debt $1,650,000,000,000

Recent budget cuts $38,500,000,000

Let’s now remove 8 zeros and pretend it’s a household budget.

Annual family income $21,700

Money the family spent $38,200

New debt on the credit card $16,500

Outstanding balance on the credit card $142,710

Total budget cuts so far $38.50

Got it? OK, now…

Lesson #2

Here’s another way to look at the Debt Ceiling

Let’s say you come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup in your neighborhood, and your home has sewage all the way up to your ceiling. What do you think you should do?

Raise the ceiling or remove the shit?

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A Christmas Joke

The mall was packed as a couple went Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve. As the wife walked through the mall she became concerned when she stopped long enough to realize her husband was nowhere around. She was quite upset. They had a lot to do.

Frustrated, she called him on the cell to ask him where he was. In a calm voice the husband said, "Honey, you remember the jewelry store we went into about 5 years ago? The one where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn't afford then?"

The wife, choked up, started to cry. "Yes, I remember that jewelry store."

He said, "Well, I'm in the bar right next to it."

Relationships

This post is inspired by the "16 Ways I Blew My Marriage" blogpost by Dan Pearce, of Single Dad Laughing  (see his blog post here). He offers some fantastic advice on how to end up divorced. At the end of his posts (it's in two parts), he asked if the reader had any advice they'd like to share as to how to keep a marriage together. Here's my two cents worth.

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Don’t go hide when she cries.

It’s tough to see a strong woman cry. It distorts the opinion that she is just as tough as you (have made her). Men cannot relate to many of the reasons that would make a woman cry. So, when the tears start, a man fumbles, stumbles, mumbles and leaves.

Do Over –

Don’t leave. Take it like a man. If you made her cry, suffer the tears in silence for a moment. Whether you did or not, reach out, gently touching her, letting her know you’re not running away. If she doesn’t slap your hand, work your way into an embrace. Let her cry on your shoulder. If she does slap your hand, go get a cool washcloth and a box of tissue. Wait a moment. When she’s ready, offer them to her.

Bonus –

Your courage to withstand the storm of tears will be remembered. You will have made the foundation of your relationship stronger.

Extra Bonus –

Your compassion may lead to make up sex.

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Now, go check out Single Dad Laughing. It's worth the read.